So, as I sit here and write I think about lives of other people. Those I have talked to and those I have not. What goes on in peoples heads. My head is crazy. Millions of thoughts. Love, hate, anger, sadness, passion, lust, depression, guilt, confusion, want, and need. I know I have missed several other feelings, so, my bad. So, I have been trying to write about different things and well that is not working so I decided to try this. You ever wonder about what goes on in peoples heads. There thoughts, feelings, pains, and other stuff like that. Yeah, so I am going to just let it all out.
All in all I think people are fake. Yeah, I said it, Fake. Sometimes I even feel that my own wife is fake. Why do I feel this. For many reasons I think people hold in feelings cause they don’t want to hurt other people, they don’t want to say how they feel or what they feel, because of that fear. Well, my down fall is just the other way. I tell people what I feel and when I feel it. Like just now at this minute I am mad at my wife. She drives me nuts some times. She was changing Evan (my son) and he is at that stage where he moves around a lot. She gets pissed at him, what the fuck. I guess it is human nature to get mad but it shouldn’t be this crazy. So, I will start with a few of these things and write about them. Lets start with love.
What is love? Is it something that is built in the human mind, is it only something that is taught? Do we all feel it? I know that we all love our parents and family members, that is natural, people are suppose to feel that. Even animals feel that. You can see it. But, to love just one person in one relationship, is that real? Can people do that? I don’t know. If love was real wouldn’t people know it. If love was true would humans have fantasies about different people, or, about different lives. We all wonder, that isn’t even a question. What if?
What if I did this? What if I did that? What if I was single and they were? What if I just told them my feelings? What if I was skinnier? What if I was blond? See, now days those things can be answered. There are things out here now days that you can change your hair color, the size of breast, lips, butt, thighs, arms and other shit. Damn, I guess we are a new generation of freaking morons. So, back to my question, love, is it real or not? Is it implanted in to our brains, or, is it learned. Come on look around every one is doing it. If you don’t believe me look at the statistics for divorce, then argue. Do people love them selves, nope. If we did than things in this world would be different, people would be real. I hate myself, really I do. I can pick out everything that I hate. Start with my face. I got red blotches from frost bite so it always looks like I just got up or I am blushing. Hate them. My teeth. They are straight, but so stained from drug use, smoking drinking, and stupid shit that I don’t really smile. My weight. Yeah, guys struggle with this issue too. I hate that. I wish I could be smaller. I have more muscle mass than most, and, my body fat content is not that much but I hate it. Like all though I can’t afford to pay someone to make me hot. I will be the first to say I am not hot. 1-10 I am a negative 2. But I live with it. I deal. So, I guess love is just something to do. Something to keep people busy, keep them feeling like they are doing the right thing. Have I ever been in love? The answer to that is yes. If love is real or at least I have had those feelings for some people in my life and I have said it to ones I have been with. But, let me tell you anytime those feelings came into play it has always ended badly. There has never been one time that I can recall that love or the feelings of love did any good in my life. So, I guess I just have a hard time even thinking about it. Now next question. Can you be in “love” with more than one person, can you fall in “love” with other people? I think it is possible. I think our bodies start to feel these different things towards other and it can turn to love. What actions bring these feelings about? Well, dreams can be a leading factor, multiple dreams can screw with your head and some people have a hard time moving between fiction and reality. Another action could be deep conversation. Yeah, getting to know someone at that deep level, can bring up those feelings also. But fuck it who cares, cause I really think that some people just are fake and when you think you are getting to that deeper level, chances are, you are not. Love, it is an addiction. People want it and want to give it. We, the human race even came up with a action for love, or, well, how to make it. Ha, yeah, making love. The art of a man taking his penis and sticking it in to the woman’s vagina. Orgasms, sweat, kissing, body fluids being swapped. Yeah, that is the making of love. Or, is it the making of lust? God, Josh, great question. Let me think here. I get a hard on because you are naked, you get wet because I am rubbing your thighs. Umm, yeah, trust me, I am not getting a hard on because I love you so much, and guess what, you are wet cause you want it so badly. Some people will say that you have to love someone to open your legs or stick it in. Let me spell it out for you, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T, or, if me just typing it out for you doesn’t work, you can, just ask one of my one night stands and find out how much we loved each other. So, the next time you go to make love just remember me, or well, umm what I said. That is all I have on “love” right now. Ok, next on my list of things to give you people my thoughts on.
Since I tapped into it a little on the last subject, lets talk about lust. Oh yeah, that evil little word. Lust, the killer of man. Well, yeah it probably is. I guess humans can lust over millions of things. Homes, cars, jobs, clothes, money, yards, and a whole lot of other shit, that is going to take all week if I named everything. Lust is another one of those human traits that can eat away at you, if you let it. Everyone lust after something, someone. I want what he or she has. But, this beautiful trait usually comes in to play with people. Oh, god I really want to “make love” to her. Or, I really want him to just lift me up in his strong arms and just take me.(by the way sorry, I am not a woman so I don’t really know what you all think. Or say.)
I often wonder if there were no consequence to our actions would we act on our lustful thoughts. Well, I will be the first honest one and say, I would. Maybe, it is a good thing that people don’t act on that all the time. But, if you could, would you. Would you just let go of all ambitions and just go for it. Damn, this a real tough one. With this one feeling comes a lot of bad also. Murder, rape, molestation, theft, and lets not forget divorce. So, a lot of pleasure would come out, but a lot of pain also. I have lusted after women, cars homes and other things. Mostly women. I don’t know how bad this can be though, yeah I have pulled one out to someone other than my wife. Who hasn’t. Porn is a good example of that. That is lust. But wait can I make love to myself? I think so, maybe easier for women cause they have a lot more choices, if you know what I am saying. Any way lust is a very, very easy thing to fall into. I think that is why some people or most people feel like they are in love. The lustful eye can give you a lot of those same feelings. I guess it is just left up to those and how they choose to act. I like the whole concept of the word. If women had lustful thoughts for me, that makes me feel good. Actually it makes me feel great. I want people to want me. Most people do. Weather they are in a relationship or not they want to be wanted by another person. Take my wife for example. She is playing this game on-line and she has these guys that just get all guy like over her. She likes that idea. She gets off on that and you know she does. Who wouldn’t. God, I would. I think people should go up to people and grow balls and say how they feel, I do all the time. Well, to a point. But to end this section, lust is very self explanatory. Is it wrong? Maybe. Do people care? Doubt it. So, on to my next item. Lets jump of the beaten path, cause I can. Lets talk about wants. Oh, fuck, this could be long and very fucking boring, damn, I am board already and I haven’t even touched on this subject. Humans wants. What the fuck do people want? What the fuck do I want. Maybe I want to pull one out right now, you know, use some of those lustful thoughts and just “make love” to myself. Ha, ok, don’t even have enough time for that. Why do we want? Is it because of what other people have or is it because other people want it also. Well, just maybe. What do I have that others may want. Nothing. Not a fucking thing. So, what do I want, what have I wanted. I want a job that supports my family better. I want a blow job right now, oops, out of place. I want to have more money, fuck, like I said, boring, gay, hella gay. What have I wanted. Oh, I don’t know. I have wanted other peoples girl friends, I have taken them. I have wanted to have sex on a bus, done that. I wanted to have sex in a high school bathroom, done that. I have wanted to start my life over from scratch. I have wanted to take away all the hurt I have caused to people. I have wanted to take away the crimes I committed when I was kid. I have wanted to take this person and do what I want to that person, and how ever I want. I have wanted. Everyone wants something, weather it is physical, mental, or emotional. That is way it is so hard to just talk about this subject. The want in some can drive them mad. It can kill them. It can kill others. I guess the thing about want is, that want is just that. I want to write about something that pulls people in. I want to be the best at what I do. I want what I can’t have. Ending this part, I wonder if I really did figure out what want is. I really don’t think anyone can. Like the famous song says, “ if you want it, here it is, come and get it, but you better hurry cause it is going fast.” So true.
Ha, oh, man I wonder if I can actually do this. Will anyone give a rats ass weather they read this our not? Or is this going to be one of those things that people could really care less about? I really don’t think people are going to care less about my opinion. Well, fuck um. If you don’t care why are you still reading. Rolling on, we get the greatest joy in the world; and that is talking about one of my favorite things. Passion. Oh, passion if you were real life human being I would “make love” to you, and, just use my lustful thoughts about you. I want passion. Well, fuck me who doesn’t? Passion, passion, passion. Now with this feeling I can and probably will type for days on. I myself, am a very passionate man. I “make love” passionately, I kiss passionately, I even argue with passion. Passion is a very important key in life. Some have it, and to be quit frank, some are so dull, that their sex life is like rubbing two 2 by 4’s together. Yeah, there is more heat in that then their sex life. Very sad. I feel bad for those who miss out. But if you do, my number is 507- yeah, never mind just playing, or am I? Do humans know what real passion is? On this I think so. I think humans our very passionate people and they do show it. But trust me it isn’t as sexy as it is in Hollywood. Not as hot either. In movies men and women go after what they want. The don’t hold anything back. Well, well it is the return of the ass with an opinion. I have wrote on anything in a while cause well I am lazy. But, I am back. I have been thinking about starting a blog. Yep, a blog. A place where people can read my lame excuse for writing.
OK, here it is. Above my little diddy here is a little fat boy, about 7 years old. He probably weighs an easy 150 lbs.(Let me take a deep breath before I start.) This is an ad for a wonderful little product called Bounty; you may of bought, used, or seen this great creation. BUT, I have a huge problem here.(Everyone is probably saying,"Oh that is a Surprise".) Well, here it is. What in the F#CK. First of all if anyone has seen this ad, this little shithead is eating buffalo wings, like 20 of these things. Just going to town and eating away. This little Fatty just starts taking these napkins and wiping his little fat fingers with them. That piece of crap is taking a new napkin after each wing. What does this chubby bastard do when he is done wiping those hot dogs he calls fingers? That prick is throwing them on the floor. WHAT? WHAT? On the floor are you kidding me. That fat boy can't even build up enough energy to walk to the trash. IF you have seen this awesome commercial you know that he is in the kitchen. The sink is all of 6ft away if that. Why in Gods name didn't Jaba The Hut roll his fat butt off that chair and grab a wet rag. I will tell you why. HE'S FAT!!!!!! And God forbid he move a little and burn some calories. I guess for Christmas he really wanted a pace maker. Nothing says I am healthy like a pace maker. So, as I continued to watch this thing I started thinking. Where in the world is his mommy? I know she is in the living room polishing off her third quart of chunky monkey, that's where. Why doesn't she care that her retard of a son is throwing his napkins on the floor, cause she doesn't have to clean it up either. The home health care nurse that comes in to roll over the mom does the cleaning also, and fuck she's getting $50 per hr to pick them up, so screw it. Let me just say that be a lardo sucks, I have put on some and lost a great deal also. Women put on weight for many reasons also, but, there is no reason except for in hell, that a kid should be that fat. Maybe they should hang one of those juicy little wings on a string right in front of a treadmill, then see what happens. He would starve, or maybe, just maybe he would try to run for it.
