Why people quit reading!!!

I'M KINDA A POTTY MOUTH......

So, as of late, I have lost many, um, readers... They all say the same thing...

"Josh, your post is naughty and you have a dirty mouth."

I say to that, " You really don't have a clue how dirty I can be!" Wink, Wink! Smile! I am a verbal person.. This is my outlet.. This blog is kinda of popular, yet hardly anyone posts on this damn thing... Listen, don't hate on my blog, hate on me!!! Cause this is me, this is all me! Come on, is it that my blog brings out maybe a freaky side of people, they never knew they had? Is it that my words are so dirty, that people just get all the tinglies, in their silly places and such? I love that people love and hate this thing, but please, take it out on me... Not my poor blog...

Oh me, oh my, I just blew it in her eye!!!!



I PROMISED I WOULD NOT BEG, BUT, PLEASE COME BACK, I WILL MISS YOU!!!!!

Trust me, I know the people who don't want to read any more, but can I entice you... What if I talked about sex? Would that help? Um, how about, Ugly Betty? Um, how about, I guess I have nothing... Um, one last thing..............................................................................................Vagina!!!! I had to say it!!! Well, sorry I have lost some, but, hope to gain many more.... Penis out, oh, she-it I meant Peace out... People this was just MY2CENTS!!!!!!

Oh, snap and well, krackle and pop!!!!

SO, NOW THE COWBOYS ARE THE CLASS OF THE NFC!!!! WELL, FOR NOW!!! AS IT STANDS WE ARE LOOKING AT THE SUPER BOWL WITH 4 REG. SEASON GAMES LEFT..

11-1 IS A GREAT START TO A SEASON...

I KNOW, SOME PEOPLE OUT THERE DON'T GIVE A CRAP, BUT, DAMN, MY WISH KINDA CAME TRUE... FARVE LEFT HURT IN 2nd QUARTER... HA, PUSSY!!!!!!!

OLDIE, BUT A GOODIE!!!!!

I FEEL PAIN IN THIS ARM, I THINK IT'S MY TUNNEL AGAIN. DAMN CARPO!!!!

God, I really was thinking tonight, and maybe too much... I was thinking, what in the fucks name of damn would it be like to be a Wal-Mart greeter!!! I mean really... 99.9% of the time the greeter is someone tapping on the door step of death.. Hella old... I mean so old that moving a cart gives them a stress fracture in their hip... DAMN... Guess what Wal-Mart, I know that you bastards did some survey and it came up that people like to be greeted, but, not me!!! Plus, and maybe it is how I look, but, those greeters always seem to stare at me, like I am going to steal a cart... God, I go in there and this shit happens....... I will continue, but, this is true, it happened about 4years ago...

I start walking into Wal-Mart and see a greeter, they smile at me and this is what was said...

Greeter-"Good morning!"

Me-"Good morning!"

Greeter-"WHAT?"

Me-"Good Morning!!!!!"

Greeter-"WHAT'S BORING?"

Me-"What?"

Greeter-"What?"

Me-"What? Nothing, I just said good morning."

Greeter-"YOU SAY IT IS POURING?"

At that point I said fuck it and walked my ass away.. When I go there, I don't want to have a convo with an 80 year old... I want to buy some cheap shit and leave... Bottom line...

And what in gods name is wal-mart thinking... If someone stole something, these oldies are Wal-Marts last line of defense... ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Those fossils are not strong, and they are not big, so, Wal-Marts kinda, well, fucked.... But, fuck big corps like Wal-Mart, they try to make the world a better place don't they?!?!? That is just MY2CENTS

Update on why my blog, is NC17

Oh man I have a potty mouth!!!
shit (29x)
ass (23x)
fuck (14x)
bitch (13x)
fucking (7x)
hell (5x)
retard (4x)
bastard (3x)
gun (2x)
puke (1x)

When do I just stop???? Not today!! Not today!!

You know, all I seem to do is bitch... Either on this damn thing, at work, at home, with friends!!! I am starting to want to lay my ass down on some psychologists chair and find out why! Do I really have a lot to hate in life? I don't think so. What is so wrong with my life that I have to complain all the time? Well, lets just try to figure this out...

1. I hate my job!!! I really do... I get payed, a shitty pay, for some hard ass work! I mean really. I don't just sit behind a desk all day.. I am lifting heavy shit 100lbs-500lbs all week long. I am a "BOSS" that's bull shit, I have one guy that works for me but not really... He is a college student! He is making himself better.. Other people get payed more or close to it, because they cry like bitches and think it is owed... Fuck me!! (I know it is my own fault. I should just go to college!)

2. College! Why don't I go to college? I mean shit I live in an area, where there is like one in every direction, within 40miles.. Do the online shit? I fear college! Bottom line! I fear failure! I learned at an early age that I am a failure!! That I wouldn't do much... Everyone from a Principal to a Pastor told me so... I also have another baby on the way and right now, I am the "Bread" winner!! So, yeah college doesn't look possible!!!

3. My expectations!!! I had a lot for myself.. In my life, I was a big dreamer. I also smoked a lot, and I mean a lot of weed! So, call them "pipe dreams" but, I wanted to be a lawyer. Yep, I was always told I looked good in a suit.. I can also argue like a mother fucker too.. But, the main thing with that, is, that I believe in what I argue about.. Other wise I try not to argue.. At one point last year I started working out, reason being, I wanted to start in the MMA's.. I love to fight.. I really do.. I love the feeling of my fist hitting someone in the face.. I quit that.. Again, afraid of failing.. God, ball up, right?

4. My Marriage!!! This is probably going to be a sore subject with the wife, but, writing how I feel right... This has been both the greatest and hardest time of my life... We got married on Sept. 18, 2004.. I was 23, she was 22.. We where retarded.. We rushed into it.. I fell into love and never looked back.. I am use to having relationships fail.. She is not use to being with a man for longer that 1 year at the most.. We should have dated longer, we didn't and now we are going through what we would of, if we dated.. We know each other, not well tho.. I have a loud mouth, that I never shut, and she is smart and uses that to her advantage a lot.. So, there has been a rocky base in this marriage, and some will say, "you will have that"... Well, to those some, lick my ass... I WOULDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING!!! It just needs to get a lot better, for the kids and us!!!

5. My Self!! I hate me! Bottom Line!! I feel I have let myself down... I had tons of friends.. I don't talk to any of them, well, maybe 3-5 at the most.. I pushed them away.. When they call I don't awnser the phone.. I settle for ok... GOOD ENOUGH IS GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!! I feel the world is out to get me.. I feel that the world owes me something.. I grew up dirt poor.. I don't want my kids to feel what I did as a kid.. I have a destructive personality. I try to ruin all the good things in my life.. I fear that one day, I will wake up, and Everyone and Everything I have ever cared about, in my life, will be gone... I am the modern day pussy....

That could be why I just bitch!! Just saying!!!

P.S. I just feel sick sometimes in seeing where I have let my life go to............ This was of course, MY2CENTS

Thanksgiving!!!

10-1

Happy Thanksgiving, you all!!!!

I hope all went well, for everyone!!!!

No post today, can't think of too much to say except for, "All I want for Christmas, is Farve with a broken neck.... Oh, yeah, Farve you dirty bastard... God, I hate you with all my heart.. Have a good meal Farve and we will see you and your poop packers this time next week...

This was a MY2CENTS in short!!!!!

Oh, the joy!!!!!

My god, what a crazy ass day... I am just all fucked up and such.. I feel like I have the body of a 80 year old, minus the 4 hour erection and flabby muscles.... Just feel sore and shit.. I am a little baby some times, but I did twist my knee today and that really sucks nuts.. Sooooo, people how was your day? Um, what? Hello? oh yeah, on the blog, no one can respond and shit.. As you all can see my blog has a new thing... Its a rating.. My rating is NC17... Oh shit, that is funny and below is the reasons why my rating is NC17...

shit (25x)
ass (21x)
bitch (15x)
dick (12x)
hell (6x)
fucking (5x)
bastard (2x)
crap (1x)
I used these words a lot... And that only does the front page... That doesn't even do the
other posts.. I laugh every time I see that rating... I just, I don't know... So, on the down side to doing this, is that i have to advertise for this Dating Service, tards, but it makes the blog look bad ass....
My bitching of the day.... Old people driving.... My god, every time I see an old person driving I clinch my ass cheeks together.. I don't get scared easily, but, when you see that 4 foot 2 inch, blue hair lady peeking over the wheel, well, I just want to hit her before she hits me... I think there should be an age limit for the oldies.. Maybe 65, and after that, walk your slow ass to a bus, taxi, or to a rascal... I once watched this old lady "Make" a parking spot in between 2 cars.. She scraped both all the way in.. Then when she got done she couldn't figure out why she couldn't get out of her car... I don't think you could even get a pube in between those cars.. Dumb bitch... God, I mean really, what the fuck... Have you ever watched a old man or woman walk to their car and said, "What the fuck?" I have!!! I saw an old man take around 5 Min's to walk maybe 50 steps, he then jumped into his damn Buick and drove off... I just want to slash their fucking tires.... I was in a near fucked up accident because of an old man.. He was on a bypass and turned left on a red arrow and was t-boned by a semi... Both the semi and the truck missed the front of my truck by about 5ft... I ran down to help and heard screaming, it sounded like a women and I was all like, "Ma'am are you alright? Don't move lady! Just stay there, help is on the way...." Come to find out it was a old man... DAMN

Get their asses off the damn streets... This was just MY2CENTS, FUCK!!!!!

Give Thanks.... Or just bitch about shit....

" Hey, where the fuck is Big Bird?"

"He went hunting with Cheney said he'd be back in an hour!"

So, with Thanksgiving coming around the bend, like Favre on Joe Bucks ass, we need to think about all to give thanks for... I have many reasons to be thankful... So, here is my list...



1. My family! (Amanda, Evan and New baby, either Kennedy or Lincoln)



2. Having a job..



3. Having a roof over my head..



4. Never being a young kid at Never Never Land... Which should be changed to, Well Maybe Once and Don't Tell Your Parents Land...



5. Never being in an "PIE" eating contest with Rosie O'Donnell.. I heard that bitch, can eat her some "PIE".



6. I never had to go hunting with Dick (trigger slipper) Cheney..



7. I am thankful that Dog The Bounty Hunter realized he wasn't black.... I guess having a mullet does make you a retard.



8. I am thankful for VH1's Best Week Ever, for if it wasn't for them I would of never found that sick ass site called http://www.2girls1cup.com/ God, I was sickened to my core... And it was funny..



9. I am thankful for the TV NEWS. If it wasn't for those damn reporters, I wouldn't see how fucked up other peoples lives were.. I mean really when I get down I watch the news and hear shit like this, " Today there was a 3 car pile up on, blah, blah, blah, 6 people died. One death, was a little retarded girl, coming back from the mall after shoe shopping... HOW THE FUCK DO THESE GUYS KNOW THIS SHIT ALREADY.. FREAKY BASTARDS!!!! A small smile ends up on my face, "I guess my life really ain't so bad."



10. I am thankful for The Soup (E!).. When I feel really "good" nothing perks me up like that show.. God, that Joe is fucking funny.. Thank you E!, as for that Ryan Seacrest, please shot that bitch in the head... He's a DOUCHE bag...



Well peeps, that is just a few things I am thankful for... I just want to wish you all a happy Thanksgiving, and remember, this was just MY2CENTS!!!!!!

9-1 But, we still have to beat Jesus and the rest of those Packers..

So, 9-1 and everyone in the NFC is looking up at Dallas, except for the Green Bay (Shit) Packers!

God, I hate that team. I guess the only sports thing I gained from living in Minnesota is that I hate the Poop Packers and that Favre is a old retard.. I hope Dallas D puts your ass in a wheel chair.. Green Bay beat a shitty Carolina team and once again that makes Favre, Jesus...

Holy Shitttttttttt!!!!! No really, I mean that!!!!

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Crazy Ass Stuff...

LOOK MOM AND DAD, THIS NICE FREAKY MAN GAVE US AQUA DOTS!

HE SAID, WE COULD EAT THEM IF WE WANT TO....

OK it is now 11:36 pm and I am not even close to b tired.. I know I need the sleep and I should be drained, considering last night, was the craziest night I had in a while... First off let me start of by saying, "Way to fuck up the dreams of NY Giants Fans every where, Cowboys!" 8-1 not a bad start to the season..... OK, I will continue. So, Saturday night, the company I work for had its yearly Christmas party.. Yes, I know, that is really freakin early, but, the owner leaves for Arizona on the 15th.. So, we all went out to TK Steak House (One of the nicest places in town) for the meal.. Prime Rib and some sides.. I start off with 5 Long Islands and I really wasn't feeling too bad. We then rolled over to do some bowling.. Got a beer tower and started hitting that pretty hard... I put down about 6 beers out of that.. The some of us went to the bar afterwards. I drank about 6 glasses there.. So, to put this all together, I had about 25 shots of alcohol, and 11 beers.. I don't really drink, ever. So, my wife was driving a co-worker home and I was in the front passenger side.. We made a couple of turns and that did it for me.. I ended up throwing up my nut sack for a couple of seconds.. We dropped him off at his place, drove to ours and I threw up again.. Got upstairs and yes, did it again.. I felt like shit.. Um, crazy ass stuff right there. But, it just confirmed why I don't drink that much, if at all really..



Now to my bitch of the week...



Aqua Dots, what the fuck... I guess child petties every where got all horny and shit when they heard about this... If you haven't heard about this, then chances are, you are retarded and you don't see any form of news... Aqua Dots are balls of water covered in a coating and when put them together, you can make all types of cool shit... You could make birds, cars, buildings, cats, dogs, coffins, grave stones, and rape little kids.... Yes, you can do all of this, with this amazing new toy.... Buy Aqua Dots, and your kids will love you forever! Only cause they are dead, and even then, I doubt they love you at all... So, they (And in "They", I mean the stupid fucking morons that make this shit) find out that the Aqua Dot coating was changed some how and it has the same side affects as the "Date Rape" drug... OMG!!!! How does that happen.. How does this coating contain anything, that is in that drug... Honestly, I am all for bringing in shit from the out side but fuck me wheeling, this is raw ass shit.... Between the Lead and the Aqua Dot shit, and the bird flu, and Yao Ming, man we are just getting screwed.. And I don't mean the, "hey, this is going to hurt a little, but just relax, I got lube", screwed.. I mean the, "I am going to do this nice and hard and you will feel it, but there is nothing you can do about it, you little bitch"... Stop imports!!! Just stop until we know for sure, that we all won't die, just to save a few bucks... These ass wipes are attacking our fucking kids... Lets just get it together people... But yeah, nothing more from me... Remember ladies and gents, this was MY2CENTS!!!!

My Top Ten- Wastes of the news, like news about people and other shit

10. Andy Dick-- This retard is every where.. He is like a C-lister whore... The only thing worse than seeing THE DICKSTER on TV, is knowing, that there is a mom and dad out there, who produced that little prick...

9. Paris Hilton- OK, this dumb bitch has something going for her, she's hella rich! But other than that, she is just another rich girl, who should get donkey bonked into submission... The best thing that could of happened, that would of been, if one of those women in lock down would of made her their butchy bitch... "You show mommy your manners!"

8. Perv Politicians- Damn, I don't care if they are gay our not... Or, if they what to bust a nut on some hookers corns, on her feet... Oh, that one was in the bathroom trying to get some ass from a cop in the bathroom stall... Come on guys that's fucking plane old pervreism (just made that word up)... This ones getting his little smokey puffed on... Give it up... This is not news to me... Some horny old bastards up there in congress...

7. Dog The Bounty Hunter- This piece of shit... God, just shut the fuck up... You know the thing is, is that i watched this guy... Yes, even with the "Billy Ray Cyrus" going on, on his head. I watched it cause he would always pray then swear, like this----

" Dear Lord, help us catch this Fugitive today, Jesus. May You help us, to show the light and peace that is in us.. Lord, watch over the crew. as we run down this dog, for Lord, I am the only true Dog. (then they catch the fugitive and say this) " Get on the ground mother fucker. I said get down.. I will bust your white ass down, mother fucker... You tried to mess with the wrong fuckers, bra. Bra, you are done, bitch you hear me? DONE! Your ass will be rotting in jail bra.. Your screwed!! Ha Ha, that's right!"

So, I think he's always been f-ed up... He has a mullet for gods sake...

6. Global Warming- My facking head hurts... Oh, jump into your hybrid car and get 90 miles to the gallon.. Chain myself to this Elm tree, to save it from tree bullies.. Go to Antarctica to show me how much ice and snow has melted in the last 100 years... Change the name from Global Warming to Climate Change, give me a break.. The only time NBC should go green, is when You can get a Leprechaun to beat Donald Trump within inches of his life, on a stack of money... I know its getting warmer, you dick holes, I live in MinneHOLYSHITITSCOLDOUTSIDEsota.. It has been warmer up here too. I don't need Leo to help me realize whats up.. I wish he thought, that he really could fly and jump off a 200 story building.

5. OJ Simpson- What, if the Gun don't click, you gotta...Be shitting me! Again! Um, now killing his wife and getting away with it, that is fucked up... But, to steal, your own shit, at gun point... You deserve to be sentenced to 15 years, of 3rd graders kicking you in your nuts... You retard... I mean even 3rd graders know, there is no get backs, you worthless prick... I guess, if the dumb ass slips, you gotta convict...

4. Senior Citizens Lunch Menu- Some times that shows up on TV in the "THIS WEEKS EVENTS" section or commercial.. I get it.. You advertise for business... But damn prunes 12 times a week.. And how many times a week are they having the "meat miracle" what the fuck is that... Probably the remains of whats left from Edna and Room 434.. Didn't know that when they said the meat was aged, that they really mean, aged...

5. Britney Spears- This poor little girl.. Why won't people just leave her be.. She is going through so much.. LOL! Fuck me running... That is crazy... Any woman willing to let the whole world see her, um, Leave it to BEAVER, is all right with me... But then again, she kind of a messed up trailer girl ain't she... She just plain stupid... She needs to get her shit together... Those kids are fucked... They might as well just put themselves into rehab now and wait.....

4. Oil Prices- Oil is just like milk... If we like it and enjoy it, we will buy it... Bottom fucking line.. So if it goes to 100 dollars a barrel, we Americans will pay more... And God, I am starting to wish this war was over oil, so, gas prices would go down...

3. Dick Cheney- He is on the TV a lot... This fat bastard is always saying something fucked up or stupid... Keep Dick off the TV... That offends children everywhere.....

2. Nancy Grace- Just a stupid woman... Watch her some time. The way she talks about shit.. If you don't want to give yourself paper cuts on the genitals within 30 minutes of watching, I will then be man enough to say, you are fucked in the head...

1. Anything about Hollywood- No one cares!!! Thanks for TV and the Big screen, but if you could just go off and gently fuck yourself that would be great... I mean I just don't have the time to be depressed about all the shit I don't have and all the shit you guys do... Oh, poor writers, we want more money... We are greedy little pricks just like everyone else.... Burn in hell.......

Dirty Little Secret..... Oh, yeah......... Part II

OK, so my little experiment didn't turn out the way I planed.. I got a few comments, was hoping for more.. um, some interesting posts also... So, thank you for the posts.. Um, yeah, what else is going on? Same old shit, different Thursday... God, I hate Thursdays... If there was a day I hate more than Mondays, its Thursdays; and Tuesdays, Fridays, Wednesday, Saturdays, and Sundays... Yes I am just a little ball of hate... I hate alot of things... God, what the hell is wrong with me? Um, OK, so what should I write about? You know what? I have nothing... I guess whatever... So tune in tomorrow when once again I will have a dumb ass post that has no meaning... Man, I am a hillbilly... You know, I read other blogs and they are amazing... Ren has a great blog... Her life is damn interesting... ValleyGirl, hers, is this crazy ass, made for TV, stuff... Both are great... When I read them, I get sucked in... You girls keep it up, people enjoy reading those things... But for me.......Here is your farm report-------------- Cattle up 1.50 a head.. Sheep are down .75 a head......... Sows are up 2.50 a head.... Milk is up .98 a gallon.... And I am a complete and "udder" moron, pardon the pun.... So for everyone in the great state of Minnesota, or, at least, the south west side... I am UncleKracker saying, This was MY2CENTS, and No, I don't want change... Assholes...

P.S. I was trying to post a lovely little picture and this damn site, keeps giving me an error!!!! Damn you Blogger. Damn you to hell.... Pricks....