My Top Ten- Wastes of the news, like news about people and other shit

10. Andy Dick-- This retard is every where.. He is like a C-lister whore... The only thing worse than seeing THE DICKSTER on TV, is knowing, that there is a mom and dad out there, who produced that little prick...

9. Paris Hilton- OK, this dumb bitch has something going for her, she's hella rich! But other than that, she is just another rich girl, who should get donkey bonked into submission... The best thing that could of happened, that would of been, if one of those women in lock down would of made her their butchy bitch... "You show mommy your manners!"

8. Perv Politicians- Damn, I don't care if they are gay our not... Or, if they what to bust a nut on some hookers corns, on her feet... Oh, that one was in the bathroom trying to get some ass from a cop in the bathroom stall... Come on guys that's fucking plane old pervreism (just made that word up)... This ones getting his little smokey puffed on... Give it up... This is not news to me... Some horny old bastards up there in congress...

7. Dog The Bounty Hunter- This piece of shit... God, just shut the fuck up... You know the thing is, is that i watched this guy... Yes, even with the "Billy Ray Cyrus" going on, on his head. I watched it cause he would always pray then swear, like this----

" Dear Lord, help us catch this Fugitive today, Jesus. May You help us, to show the light and peace that is in us.. Lord, watch over the crew. as we run down this dog, for Lord, I am the only true Dog. (then they catch the fugitive and say this) " Get on the ground mother fucker. I said get down.. I will bust your white ass down, mother fucker... You tried to mess with the wrong fuckers, bra. Bra, you are done, bitch you hear me? DONE! Your ass will be rotting in jail bra.. Your screwed!! Ha Ha, that's right!"

So, I think he's always been f-ed up... He has a mullet for gods sake...

6. Global Warming- My facking head hurts... Oh, jump into your hybrid car and get 90 miles to the gallon.. Chain myself to this Elm tree, to save it from tree bullies.. Go to Antarctica to show me how much ice and snow has melted in the last 100 years... Change the name from Global Warming to Climate Change, give me a break.. The only time NBC should go green, is when You can get a Leprechaun to beat Donald Trump within inches of his life, on a stack of money... I know its getting warmer, you dick holes, I live in MinneHOLYSHITITSCOLDOUTSIDEsota.. It has been warmer up here too. I don't need Leo to help me realize whats up.. I wish he thought, that he really could fly and jump off a 200 story building.

5. OJ Simpson- What, if the Gun don't click, you gotta...Be shitting me! Again! Um, now killing his wife and getting away with it, that is fucked up... But, to steal, your own shit, at gun point... You deserve to be sentenced to 15 years, of 3rd graders kicking you in your nuts... You retard... I mean even 3rd graders know, there is no get backs, you worthless prick... I guess, if the dumb ass slips, you gotta convict...

4. Senior Citizens Lunch Menu- Some times that shows up on TV in the "THIS WEEKS EVENTS" section or commercial.. I get it.. You advertise for business... But damn prunes 12 times a week.. And how many times a week are they having the "meat miracle" what the fuck is that... Probably the remains of whats left from Edna and Room 434.. Didn't know that when they said the meat was aged, that they really mean, aged...

5. Britney Spears- This poor little girl.. Why won't people just leave her be.. She is going through so much.. LOL! Fuck me running... That is crazy... Any woman willing to let the whole world see her, um, Leave it to BEAVER, is all right with me... But then again, she kind of a messed up trailer girl ain't she... She just plain stupid... She needs to get her shit together... Those kids are fucked... They might as well just put themselves into rehab now and wait.....

4. Oil Prices- Oil is just like milk... If we like it and enjoy it, we will buy it... Bottom fucking line.. So if it goes to 100 dollars a barrel, we Americans will pay more... And God, I am starting to wish this war was over oil, so, gas prices would go down...

3. Dick Cheney- He is on the TV a lot... This fat bastard is always saying something fucked up or stupid... Keep Dick off the TV... That offends children everywhere.....

2. Nancy Grace- Just a stupid woman... Watch her some time. The way she talks about shit.. If you don't want to give yourself paper cuts on the genitals within 30 minutes of watching, I will then be man enough to say, you are fucked in the head...

1. Anything about Hollywood- No one cares!!! Thanks for TV and the Big screen, but if you could just go off and gently fuck yourself that would be great... I mean I just don't have the time to be depressed about all the shit I don't have and all the shit you guys do... Oh, poor writers, we want more money... We are greedy little pricks just like everyone else.... Burn in hell.......